Let’s get real about self-sabotage. You know, that thing we do when we procrastinate on the very project we’re excited about or convince ourselves we’re not ready for an opportunity we’ve been working toward? Yeah, that thing. I know it sounds familiar, because we all do it to some degree. If you do it a lot, don’t worry-I’ve got you. You see, I know a thing or two about it. In the past I procrastinated so long on important presentations that I pulled all-nighters and then I just wasn’t as sharp as I should have been. That is a career screw-up right there. Guess what, though? I figured out I wasn’t doing myself any favours, learned to see self-sabotage for what it is : hint, it’s the name, and conquer it. And you can to. Self-sabotage is like that annoying frenemy who shows up uninvited and stays way too long. But the good news? You don’t have to let it run the show.

What is Self-Sabotage, Really?

Self-sabotage is any thought or behavior that keeps us from achieving what we want. It’s sneaky, often masquerading as just being realistic or not wanting to take risks. But in reality, it’s fear wearing a clever disguise.

Common culprits include:

Procrastination: “I’ll start tomorrow. Or next week. Or... maybe never.”
Negative Self-Talk: “Who do I think I am to try this?”
Fear of Failure: “What if I mess up and everyone sees?”
Over-Perfectionism: “I’ll work on it when I’m 100% ready. Which, spoiler alert, is never.”

Sound familiar? Don’t worry—you’re not broken. You’re just human.

Why We Do It

Self-sabotage often comes from a place of protection. Our brains love keeping us safe, but trying new things? That doesn’t always feel safe. It feels easier to stay in your comfort zone rather than risk failure, rejection, or embarrassment. It’s all a lie though and this so called “protection” keeps us stuck. Career killer right there.

The key is recognizing these patterns and replacing them with habits that will get you un-stuck and move you up your career. And guess what? You can totally do this. Let’s dive in.

Recognize Your Patterns

You can’t fix what you don’t see, so the first step is to get real about how you’re sabotaging yourself. Here’s a quick exercise for you:

Take 5 minutes to reflect on something you’ve been avoiding or struggling with. Ask yourself:
- What am I afraid might happen if I move forward?
- Am I procrastinating, overthinking, or being overly critical?
- What story am I telling myself that’s holding me back?
- What proof do I have that what I am telling myself is true?

Once you identify the pattern, you’ve taken the first step to breaking free. Awareness is everything.

Flip the Script

Negative self-talk is the soundtrack of self-sabotage. The good news? You can rewrite it. When that inner critic pipes up, try this:

Instead of: “I’ll fail and look stupid.”
Say: “I might fail, but I’ll learn and get better.”
Instead of: “I’m not ready.”
Say: “I’m as ready as I’ll ever be, and I’ll figure the rest out as I go.”

Your words shape your reality. Be kind to yourself—you deserve it.

Take One Tiny Step

Self-sabotage thrives on overwhelm. Break the cycle by focusing on one small, doable step. Just one.

Want to start a new project? Spend 10 minutes brainstorming ideas.
Need to send an email? Write the first sentence.
Thinking about switching careers? Research one job title that excites you.

The momentum from one tiny action can knock self-sabotage off its feet. Remember, you don’t have to climb the whole mountain today—just take the first step.

Celebrate Your Wins

Self-sabotage loves to focus on what you didn’t do. Fight back by celebrating what you did. Did you send the email? Celebrate. Take a class? Celebrate. Decide to start over tomorrow? Celebrate that too. Progress isn’t about perfection—it’s about showing up.

A Final Thought

Self-sabotage is sneaky, but it’s not unstoppable. By recognizing your patterns, challenging negative thoughts, and taking small, intentional steps, you can start moving toward the career you truly want. And when self-sabotage tries to creep back in? Remember: you’re stronger, smarter, and braver than it will ever be.

Now, what’s one small step you can take today to stop holding yourself back? Whatever it is, start there—and don’t forget to celebrate.

Self-Sabotage 101: How to Stop Holding Yourself Back