The Myth of Work Life Balance: Why Effectiveness Matters More

We’ve all heard the phrase, “work-life balance” and for a very long time. In fact it’s likely roots took hold in the late stages of the Industrial Revolution in the UK, when the average worker worked 16 hour days, 6 days a week. Those long hours had a profound impact on the social life of families, not to mention the health impacts on workers. Labour reform played a big part in getting working hours more sustainable and somewhere around then the notion of work-life balance took hold.

But what is this work-life balance really? And how does one achieve it? The term is often thrown about as though its the holy grail of happiness and success, with usually no suggestions of how to actually do it. If you’re anything like me, you’ve realized that perfect balance is a bit of a myth—a lovely idea that feels like a great thing but somehow also perpetually out of reach. Here’s the reality: life is messy, unpredictable, and rarely offers us a perfectly balanced scale. And honestly? That’s okay. The real key is learning to be effective in both areas, even if they aren’t in perfect harmony all the time.

Balance is Overrated (and Impossible)

Balance suggests that there is a magical equilibrium formula where every part of life gets equal attention. Tell me honestly, have you ever had a week where everything feels perfectly in sync? I certainly haven’t. There are always moments when work demands more, and times when our personal life needs our full attention. And trying to make it all equal—well, that’s a recipe for exhaustion. So do yourself a favour and stop trying. My guess is you have lots of other things you can work at that will be far more successful.

Instead of trying to conquer this very complicated landscape, let’s ditch the myth of balance and instead focus on effectiveness. That’s always my goal - to be effective in both domains of my life. Being effective is about being fully present where you need to be in the moment, giving each area what it needs without spreading yourself too thin. Some days, work will take priority, and on other days, family or personal life will need the majority of your attention. It’s not about keeping the scales equal; it’s about making intentional choices and knowing when to shift your focus.

Effectiveness in Action: The Long Game

Effectiveness isn’t a sprint. It’s about sustaining your energy and resources so that, over time, you’re making meaningful progress in both your work life and your personal life. If you’re focusing too much on one area for too long, the other side will eventually cry out for attention. But a little imbalance here and there? That’s not only okay; it’s expected. And the more you accept that this imbalance is normal, and will ebb and flow, you’ll be happier and less frustrated trying to achieve the impossible.

I’ve had times where work took over entirely. For example during Covid, leading in a hospital, I was working around the clock. That was expected and totally necessary for myself, my colleagues and our patients. And, as long as that lasted, it wasn’t forever and I made sure to prioritize breaks away and dedicated time with my family and friends as soon as I could . Yes, I felt stretched, overwhelmed, and more than a little guilty. But when I gave myself permission to focus fully on the task at hand, I found a sense of relief and, surprisingly, more energy. And when that project ended, I could tip the scales back toward my personal life. Here are some of my favourite tips to get to that same place I got to.

My Top Tips to Move from Overwhelmed to Effective

1. Embrace the Unequal Scale
   Accept that sometimes, one area will need more of you than the other. It’s okay for the scales to tip out of balance now and then. The goal isn’t to keep everything even but to keep yourself from burning out by giving priority to what matters most in that moment. And here’s the trick: be fully there. If work is your focus, dive in; if life calls, show up fully.

2. Set Intentional Boundaries
   Setting boundaries doesn’t mean blocking everyone out with a “Do Not Disturb” sign (though, honestly, sometimes it helps and in a moment of desperation I once hung a “Go Away” sign on my door). It means identifying when and where you need to focus in, and then sticking to it. For me, that was no emails after a certain hour and leaving my phone behind if out hiking with family. Setting a few of those boundaries gave me permission to not juggle everything at once. Somehow the crisis is still there when you get to it, right?

3. Let Go of of the Guilt

   If you’re really into work mode, you worry about not spending enough time with family. If you’re with family, you feel guilty about the unfinished work waiting. or not checking in on your work team. Do yourself a huge favour and kick perfectionism out the door. Remember, that it’s progress, not perfection, that matters. You’re not letting anyone down by focusing where you’re needed most at any one moment.

4. Be Honest with Yourself
   Effectiveness requires some self-awareness. Check in with yourself frequently: Are you feeling stretched? Overwhelmed? Energized? Sometimes, a quick self-check can remind us that it’s time to shift the scales. Adjusting is part of the process, and it helps us stay grounded.

5. Celebrate the Little Wins
   Progress isn’t always about grand achievements. Give yourself credit for the small things: an hour spent reading with your kids, finishing that big report, or even just taking a mental health day. These little moments are the fuel that sustains us, giving each area of our lives the nourishment it needs in the long run.

In the End, It’s About What Sustains You

Life is about the long game., or I least that is what we hope for. And for much of our life, we are always balancing something. Right now it’s career and family, later on it may be health and family. For now, being effective in work and life means allowing each area to grow in its own time and recognizing that sometimes, the scale will tip off kilter. And when it does, it’s okay. Because true effectiveness is about sustaining ourselves in both domains of our lives—finding purpose, joy, and energy that carry us forward without the pressure of perfect balance. Let go of the myth of work-life balance and embrace the freedom to live and work on your terms.